Journal of Honcho Biggs - Chapter 2

Chapter of the Journal of Honcho Biggs, titled "Being the Smartest Man in the Wastes".

Being the Smartest Man in the Wastes
Isn't easy, let me tell you. I finally rested a little easier when Edgecomb told me the Courier finally awoke. It was not a fun few days. Not only was I worried about my future - it was entirely possible I was gonna be paste on a securitron's fist for failing House - but also about my fashion sense. Rags does not fit a successful man. I searched wrecked houses and surprise, surprise, they were all looted! I don't know why anyone would think there would loot still left everywhere 200 years after the Great War.

Anyway, I had to move on to standing houses. Hey man, they took my stuff first. And the fashion of Goodsprings is just as square as their lives - nothing but rags and torn shirts. I realized I was gonna have to buy stuff. Like I said, never stop hustling. They was a lot of empty bottles around Goodsprings Cemetery - which also has a fantastic view of New Vegas, I might add - that I could sell to the local shopkeeper, some merchant named Chet. Not gonna lie, I do kinda like him - he's in it for himself, and for caps, just like yours truly. I bought a nice pre-war hat off of him for a cap, so at least a little bit of my fashion sense was restored.

After fluffing my mattress in the trailer for the hundredth time, that's when Edgecomb told me the news. I immediately headed to the Prospector, hoping to introduce myself to this courier and explain why it wasn't my fault he got shot. Only when I get here, I learn the courier left with Sunny to get back in the saddle. More like to get in her saddle, seems like! They were heading down toward a secluded spot near the wells to "kill geckos" as if I didn't just do that for real a few days ago.

I head down the trail to follow them. Only I get a little lost and wind up in the camp of some prospector named Barton. Barton tells me his girl is trapped on a ridge by geckos. I tell him I don't give a shit. Then he says 50 caps are in it if I go save her, which is peanuts for the rich man I'll be one day, but 50 caps might buy me that nice suit. I take the job, and head up the ridge, and blast a few geckos with a shotgun I...ahem, liberated...from a settler's house. I get to the top only to find there's no girl.

Of course, I knew all along this was gonna be a set up. Only cowards wouldn't go save their girls themselves, and only cowards run a con. So I did the math and realized I was being played. So when Barton came up the ridge, smug grin on his face, I place slugs in his knees. Hope he likes being gecko food. Bastard didn't even have 50 caps, but at least he had some bullets. Nothing at the top of the ridge except for a camera.

I go back to Goodsprings, but it's getting dark and they don't like me after dark in the saloon so I just go to bed. When I wake up, I try to find the courier, only to learn he went out again with Sunny, this time to "learn survival tactics". I head out again, but I'm interrupted once again, this time by some junkie. I could tell he was a junkie because he named himself after a number, Nine, except he spelled it wrong and it became Niner. Also, because there were a few chems lying around his motorcyle. Which he couldn't get to work. I don't like working for free, but when he asked me what wrong, I sighed because I already knew it was out of gas!

Chems melt your brain, kids. Improperly used, I mean. This Niner guy definitely got his brain melted. Anyway, he asks me to help him find gas, because at the end, he'll have a lot of caps from a deal he needs to get to. Whatever, I like advances, but it's not always possible. I follow him around for a few days, though I always make sure the courier is still in Goodsprings. We don't find no gas, but then when I ask Edgecomb, he tells me there's a Poseidon Gas Station hidden behind the Cemetery. Sure enough, we get some gas, and against my better judgement, I agree to go to the deal.

Only for the goddamn bike to blow out on the way to Primm. Not liking our chances with Powder Gangers roaming the area, we hide out at some prewar skydiving (whatever that means) place. No Gangers in sight though. When we get back to Goodsprings, we learn why.

Apparently, while we were out, there was a massive gunfight in Goodsprings between the townspeople and Gangers looking to collect. Townspeople fought them off, led by none other than the courier himself. Courier, of course, has skipped town and left for Primm. Had we left the skydiving shack earlier, we would've run into him - but of course our junkie friend had to sleep in.

Anyway, Edgecomb tells me the last bit of information I need to hear. The courier is looking for his stolen package and the man that shot him. And that's when I realized that my fate is now tied to the courier's. If he gets that package and gets to Vegas, then maybe I can still come out of this on top.

These past few days have made me realize many things. Number one being it ain't easy, being the smartest man in the wastes.

At least I found some merc clothing in the shack and a nice gambler hat in a fridge. Picture included.